wassa matter ?

in the morning you start with a plan. hopefully.
or not.
but… sometimes…mostly, we have a plan.

and , even if you don’t have a plan, you need to do things.
do something.

even if you need to detour or change your trail or your path,
i think we should navigate to things that matter.
navigate toward a place where you can do things that matter.
where you can matter.

i’ve heard people preach their ‘good’ word, while others are looking for spiritual enlightenment…
And , though i don’t knock it* , i just think, are they missing the point ?
they’re missing life. no ?
(and maybe i’m missing the point !? and i need to be enlightened. doh!)
but i think when you’re too busy looking for something that makes ‘sense’ in that time of your life or moment, or you’re looking for something that helps you connect the dots , i don’t know, let’s say you’re looking for ‘god’, you’re missing out on living your life. you’re missing out in enjoying that moment of your life. you’re missing taking a step forward. and , while you’re too busy, maybe you’re not doing things that matter. you’re just preaching some nonsensical bs (like i am doing, a little. whoopsies.)
(maybe ?)

(gah ! but, what the fuck do i know? I mean … i’m just trying to type as fast as my brain is going.  and all this nonsense was just because Alex asked me, “why are you staring at the fridge, mom ?”
and, i said, “quiet child, i’m searching for the meaning of life.”  But i was looking for the milk for my coffee , only , for that three seconds, i had forgotten what i was looking for. my brain had a pause. )

and my thoughts traveled. like yours do…like everyone’s do.
thoughts travel it’s what they do.

trail At goodland, the Chair

i want to do things with a purpose…. And i want to do things on purpose.
and , i want to live. and want to live thinking …”wow, that was pretty good.”
and , when it ends, i mean, (your or) my life, i want leave this space thinking….” wow, life… it goes on…” Heee.

when you do things on purpose and with conviction, you’re not distracted.
you get in a zone. and you get it done.
but i think you probably have to know that you’re doing this thing (what ever ‘this thing’ is !) on purpose. you’re not doing things because you can spare a few minutes here and there. or you’re simply going with the motion. you want to do things…and spend time and invest yourself on purpose. and you aim to do things with a purpose. (maybe?)
i guess… not everything has to be done on purpose… somethings just happen. but when they happen, i want to feel them 1000 per cent and really feel them on purpose.
and …. when i make coffee , i want to make more than one cup.
on purpose.
a whole pot, even.
(i think that matters)

////

 


or i just want to walk the trails in the springtime.

(my friend shared this song a while ago…and i added this to the video while i walked from fryman cyn, to Goodland ave.
and, well, who doesn’t like nick drake ? ….So, thanks my fwend of mine.
Eeek if nick drake was alive he’d probably say…fuck, don’t kill my song with cheesy-ness. and i’d say…fuck, have you listened to your songs, they’re full of cheddar and i’d wink at him and then hope he’d be okay with cheesyness or at least trip him out long enough for me to run fast. :) )

 

 

*(okay, maybe i giggle, but i don’t knock it. what ever rocks their boat !)

 

So... Nothing. That's it.

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