The reason I plan on running the L.A. Marathon is,
well, no real reason other than peer pressure (hee) and well, it’s on Valentine’s day.
It’s so cool that we dedicate one day for all things cheesy and hearts.
And I told my family, I’m not a runner. So I will run with my heart, and my legs will follow. Or my legs will take me there. Something cheesy like that.
But I’ve forgotten that, lately.
I’ve been forgetting the cheese and saying things like, “What the fuck!, this is the first and last for me!” or “What the fuck was I thinking?”
But, this morning I went on a hike, and I thought how I missed hiking! And well, that made me realize that I do things with my heart. Not with my brain. And not for a medal. I love this city. And I love nature. So hikes make me happy.
It will be my first marathon, and maybe I’ll do another one, and another one and. (not really!)
A couple of friends advised that I should run like it’s your life’s path. Go through memory lane.
Sounds, okay, BUT that’s not me at all.
I tried. That didn’t work.
And, I never look back. In general. I just can’t.
Well, I peek a little, and I think about the past, but I don’t live there. In the past, I mean. I don’t live there.
So, it’s hard to run and think about that.
I’ll leave that for when I’m on a drive down the highway.
Or for an excellent rum at the bar.
The past is gone, and that’s the end of that.
BUT, I do love to reminisce, just not while I’m running.
It’ll only get me lost.
And I can’t get lost. I have a finish line to reach, dammit. (and babies to take care of!)
I run with a purpose, and I guess it seems to work for now…maybe next time I’ll run for pleasure like when I hike and run the trails. That’s a pleasure.
But, even when I run (a race), I can’t help stop and take a foto or two.
In this picture is my friend, Theresa.
She’s superwoman. Runs and runs forever and ever. We were running a half-marathon at Griffith parc, and I took this foto. The sunshine was beautiful, and she was powerful. :)
Sometimes, (when I run) I should be listening to music or something, but instead, I think of silly little things.
(Sorry, but, I’m cheesy, and sometimes I roll my eyes at myself)
(Makes me wonder what you think about and if you know all this? And where your mind wanders, too.)
I think how lucky I am
to be outside and using my body and how my body moves to carry every piece of me (my thoughts, my spirit, my soul) and I feel all of me and makes me realize I’m pretty lucky to be mobile (knock on wood!)
the average Jane (or joe)
I see so many other people out here, running, hiking jogging, well, I’m just an average Jane in the bunch. And maybe they are, too :) You’re as ordinary as the people around you, right?
Talk to me, please.
I think that I wish I could run with all the people I care about and listen to them talk to me. And tell me stories. Tell me true stories about themselves. About their thoughts and experiences. At each mile, I want to hear them. (or, at least I can have an imaginary dialog in my head with them)
Alone with your thoughts
When I’m alone, I think of all the things I want to climb. All the people I want to meet and see again. And I close my eyes tightly and pretend I have secret powers to transport me to where they are. Or at least send them good vibes. Then I laugh at the thought of me tripping while I run with my eyes closed.
And I think of my dad and how he carried my heavy, fat butt when I was a baby because of his pilgrimage, etc. I get teary-eyed, and my salty tears burn my eyes. That’s annoying.
So, then I go back to thinking goofy stuff like “camera one, camera two” Wayne’s world. Hee.
Out of curiosity
I think that my girls are so strong and I’m so curious what’s in their brain. Their thoughts and wonder what they’re curious minds are thinking. I want to pick their brains and hope that they stay curious forever.
I think of earthquakes.
When I run on the roads, which aren’t filled yet with cars, I run on the yellow divider line and think: is this a fault? Will it split in the middle? (I don’t think it will, I only imagine an illustration and animation in my head. Picture, my legs splitting apart one on each side of the fault. But, when the road divides too far apart, I don’t jump on either side. I fly.
And slowly, and quite sadly, I come back down from my flight. Then I think, oh, man, what are my faults? My vices? My virtues?
I don’t answer myself. That’s way too personal.
AND, way too heavy. So, I continue in my ‘flight,’ instead.
Stay excited, seriously.
And it slows me down thinking about them. About my faults, I mean. BUT, then, I think, meh, we all have our vices and our weaknesses. And, at least I got my curiosity and my enthusiasm. Right? (so, I keep running, but in my head, I’m skipping and lalalaalaalala’ing in my head)
I may be in denial, but at least I’m enthusiastic. Hee.
Chores and priorities
I also think that I have laundry to do, and I think of what my day(s) are/is filled with daily? What’s on my ‘calendar’? And are those things that are there very important? Or are they just taking up my time? And should other more important things be my priority? Well, mostly, what’s on my calendar are it’s my girls’ schedule, a few birthdays, and dinner outings and events with friends and family. And it makes me want to hurry because I have to finish my chores before I go out and play. So, I run faster. (Only a little, I’m a slow runner)
Ummm, I’m only picky about my first cup of coffee :)
Then I think, when I complete this fucking marathon, I’ll go back to drinking my Peet’s coffee (and my Nescafe. That’s right, bitches, I drink instant coffee, too!), and my rum and my cigarettes. Not that I’m complaining about running. It’s the schedule that kills me. But, I mean, I hope I’m getting a little stronger in the interim. Hee.
“Dime con quien andas, y te diré quien eres”
Then I think, of the people around me again. But not the ones running next to me or passing me, or the ones crossing intersections or driving. I think of the people that I surround myself with daily.
Well, I want people who are open, non-judgmental, accepting and who tolerate different walks of life.
Because if I am going to be the average person a group (average is under-rated. hee), it better be an excellent group.
Black sheep are welcome, but if you’re a racist radical right-winger, well, I draw the line there. Who wants to be average in that type of dictatorial bigoted group??!!!
Grrr I get angry, and my feet stomp the concrete. So I stop that unpleasant thought.
Want to love you like cray cray. Hee.
Back to love thoughts and I think the marathon, again, being on Valentine’s day.
I think about love. And all the people who are crazy in love. And all the broken hearts and all the first loves. And the last ones. And I think of people floating. And holding hands. And people who are falling and people tripping and kissing. And it makes me smile, but it slows me down. And, I look for the sun.
What the hell are we doing here?
I think of space and the moon. And the stars. And the sun. And who’s out there and where and why? And how many miles and light years and all this space and dust. I wonder if my girls will like science and exploration and writing?
And do they ever wonder if they can hit a tennis ball out to space? So far out.
Fuck! I think, dammit, am I still miles away from home?
And, I look around.
(i need to run with music. I think I will run lighter. and sound a little less unhinged.)