day 15 – moving and creating

was wondering where you were.
traveling? cooped up?
one friend went on a business trip. sounded good to me. but it wasn’t only that. it was more than a business trip.
other friend didn’t call me for four whole days. i texted a smiley face and the usual ‘i’m thinking about you’. no reply from my friend.
when you know someone for a long time, you know something’s not all right. not all clear. but you just hope that they are well. physically and mentally well.

my friends…eventually she showed up and we talked. he called and we talked… but all this just made me think…

sometimes we get stuck. really, really stuck. with all these emotions and irrational conclusions… we become almost paralyzed. unable to move forward. kind of locked up in our own bodies. or some in our own minds.


when you tell a friend little things …honest little things…we are a also talking to ourselves. that is, if you believe what you’re saying. no sermons , i mean, just simple thoughts …or words…to alleviate hurt and confusion. i don’t know…a drink or a joint… and more words and a good kick in the butt for inspiration. something.


the way to move on and start fresh is to really move forward. move in another direction. where ever the thing (or person) who caused you some hurt is standing… go the opposite way. run.

  1. if you’ve are trying to get over a person: don’t see the person you are in love with any more.  avoid contact. even if he/she wants to be friends and is a nice person, you are not ready to just be friends. leave and get the hell away from them. when you have moved on far away enough and are ‘over’ them, then, at that point, perhaps you can start a new friendship with them. but, until then, have not contact with them. or, if you need to because of common property you both have, then only have very little contact with them.   
  2. know that you are not the one for them. and  they are not the one for you. it’s over. you better recognize. it happens. we are human. and sometimes a person can lead you on. bastards! but other times ..well, it’s just something that fades love and relationships. they evolve in other directions. it happens.
  3. people say not to share so much with your friends, and i agree to a certain point. in this case, you need distractions so talk to your friends. wet them with your tears. open up and tell them what’s on your mind. don’t hide behind your curtains in a dark apartment. don’t escape in secret to meet that person who is leading you on 
  4. what ever you do, no matter how difficult it is… get out of the house! seriously. the house will consume you. get out, even if it’s simply to get the paper or magazine or  some coffee. go for a walk. 
  5. get some closure and possibly some answers. sometimes you can’t answer why?. but, if you can give the person any reasons why you are leaving them, do it. or ask why they are leaving you. you should ask to get answers…. BUT know that sometimes you can’t pin-point anything specific. sometimes you just don’t know why. maybe the fire just died. they found someone else. they are not in love with you anymore. they are at a crossroads and are lost at that moment. they feel trapped. they feel neglected. and if you are not able to help them grow, or they are holding you back, it’s just time to let go. 
  6. stay distracted with things you love LOVE to do. go make music. play your violin. write songs. take pictures. read a book…get inspired… create things… go out with friends, meet new people… create new relationships.  :)
go…. break freeee…. :)
there should be some kind of manual …some instructions on our minds/bodies….
turn this switch if he’s being a bastard too long. unplug this if the bitch-y-bastardness continues more than 24 hours


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