day 14 – rolling my eyes and batting my lashes

I’m being a bitch …but when i’m done with all my bitch-y-ness, i’ll give you a hug and hope you forget about it…

P1430327 where the bitches at??

i was working in the morning.. updating clients’ social media pages and adding the 140 ‘effective’ characters on their twitter accounts…some posts on their facebook accounts… etc etc.
and all the posts i’m adding and many replying to and commenting on… made me wonder a few things. why do so many SO FUCKING MANY people post all the time? post the same poop all the time.

  1. the overly-proud mom who’s kid is better than yours:
    do i really want to read and or reply to the parent (in this case a mom) who is living vicariously through her damn kids? i mean, does any one really care if your kid is the ‘best! because she just got accepted to this college of her dreams..”
    seriously. all the posts were about THAT. so the kids were at karate this morning?! oh, now you’re dropping them off at the writing workshop?! oh he’s with his friends at the beach?! wow, can you also tell us about what time he made his poops!? wtf!
  2. the contact who tells us where he/she is at every hour of the fucking day- because your day was not as interesting:
    no way! you were at the market? on melrose? now you’re at the theatre? you’re listening to you friends band, now? oh you’re driving home, now? what?! did you stop to get a latte at starbucks because your day was so long and you needed a nice hot drink to relax you?! 
  3. The contact who you should envy because she has the best husband or boyfriend and she is so lucky to have the most amazing BFF: 
    wow! you just got a ‘just-because’ diamond pendant? right after he made breakfast for you, even? and now you have time to tell us because he’s left to the gym. and he has such a great body because he really takes care of himself? wow!!!  you have the best life ever?! your boyfriend is so perfect? Yes, you are so lucky! perfect kids, perfect day. you have an amazing life.
  4. the animal lover who spends her days rescuing animals and posting peta articles and who obviously must be a good person because she loves animals:
    oh, another dog picture. with you in it. oh, look at what you just rescued! you are amazing. such a giver. look at the all the wonderful pictures  you took of what looks like is the only thing you have going on in your damn life. 
  5. the person who needs guidance and thinks the rest of the world needs to know or needs the same guidance she does:  WHAT?! another inspiration quote? seriously, i’m not sure how i’d go through the day without one of your motivation quotes. please, please…. add another “i had an epiphany and you will too when you are enlightened by this” type of quote. any of your daily-jesus  is enough to make me get up and appreciate all the good i already have. i, too, will let all those ridiculous quotes guide me through my day. 
  6. and the person who takes pictures of any damn thing she sees and feels the need to post every single fucking shot:
    oh, another selfie, oh another what you had for breakfast shot. yet another sunset…
    WHOA! guilty! me.
    shit. i do that. whoopsies! on my flickr and instagram. sunsets and sunrise and who the hell knows what else. my coffee cup, the diner, pictures of other people taking pictures of the sunset. damn you, camera. GAH!!!

/more nonsensical vomit.
/being a bitch about your Facebook bullshit.

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