(blank*) tears** you apart*** because it’s real even when, sadly, it’s too short   pulls** lifts** high*** love* life* elevators*   raspy parched smooth polished translucent oaky     tears and pulls in the elevator.   a  raspy voice says, going up.   next time, we take the stairs.   (shoes and faces. and scents and smiles. because dozens of words are visible from one floor to the next. in the elevator. in my head. )  Read More →

sometimes you just have to escape and detach and separate yourself for a little while… and go free and wild and show them how very real you are and show them there’s a little more depth to you… more than they can see and feel… and have them open their eyes wide. have them wonder what you’ve done. and let them ask themselves, “how’d she do that?!” let them think you’re magical. and scandalous. let them think you have powers beyond this dimension. and maybe ruffle some feathers… …or just ruffle your own. but…sometimes you just have to be careful … …you never know what dimension you may end upRead More →

i always to try to know in which direction i’m traveling. east  west north etc. some days the noises in your head block everything. and you think you’re touching all directions. four dimensional , almost. the thoughts are scattered. and spread out. and loud. then suddenly they stop. like a needle carelessly taken off the record. loud … a screech. that’s what you hear. it was like you traveled east and north and west all in 30 seconds. it’s tiring. so you look for your book and you can’t find it. where is Tennessee? i think i lost him. and you think of the words inside. andRead More →

in the morning you start with a plan. hopefully. or not. but… sometimes…mostly, we have a plan. and , even if you don’t have a plan, you need to do things. do something. even if you need to detour or change your trail or your path, i think we should navigate to things that matter. navigate toward a place where you can do things that matter. where you can matter. i’ve heard people preach their ‘good’ word, while others are looking for spiritual enlightenment… And , though i don’t knock it* , i just think, are they missing the point ? they’re missing life. no ? (and maybe i’m missingRead More →

windy evening with some rain drops. we caught a nice sunset last night. next time i think we’ll chase the wind. hopefully we can catch it… makes me remember … when the girls were babies and we’d sit on the blanket over at The Bluffs parc in malibu… Some nights were so windy i’d have to calm girls down by telling them the wind was friendly and it only came to play with their hair. it worked and they’d shake their hair. silly babies. then they got older … ….and we’d do our science museum trips. which was awesome. but… …they thought nature had imagination.Read More →

dani: sorry, mama, i can’t help clean up. i’m making you some worlds. me: dani. i don’t want to hear it. no excuses. please tidy up. dani: stop , mama. i’m making you something. it has a tree. me: make your worlds later, Dani…. …um, never mind, let me video you. we’ll tidy up later. (i’m a sucker – the clean-up crew. ) :)Read More →

i think there’s a pull. or a push. or a step forward. and then a few steps back. and it’s fun. and it’s nice. it’s exciting. then, it’s serious. and you find your feet stuck in a bucket of cement. and you can’t move. (but, it’s nice, sometimes,  to be idle…)   funny, you want to step back and watch time and want something to happen. you want to make it happen. but, you don’t because nobody wants to be responsible (for it). because you can watch the clock and think, ‘soon it will happen’. or you think, ‘should i let it happen ?’ or ,Read More →

this beast is super cute. the cutest of the cute. you can’t see it here..but she has one of my tenis under her. earlier …i took her on a hike.  then , i showered and dressed.  and…. then she takes my shoe and sits on top of it. it’s how she tells us ‘let’s go for a walk’ ! juno ,the beast , is a good dog. a good hiker. and she turned 2 over the weekend. and we all forgot. but ,since then, we’ve made it up to her. (i can’t believe i forgot. i never forget birthdays….)  Read More →

one of those days…. when i was happy my head was attached to me. sometimes i am in lala land. (i think all the world should be in Lalaland) but , even in lalaland , i always like to meet people even when my head is slightly dangling from my neck. i am not broken (completely, anyway) i like to hear about them. about you. (so, what else? tell me!) it is my shy personality that makes me want to know others. it attracts me to learn about people i like. (what are YOU doing right now? what do you want to do tomorrow?) i like whenRead More →

Sometimes when i’m hiking during ‘work’ hours, I sing these little songs in my head, from C’est si Bon, to Little Apple Blossom, to Me and My Gin and get all mixed up with Gin & Juice (i mostly sing the clean parts of snoopDogg’s in my head),…And i get back to Bessie with some Careless love (mostly when i trip on a rock or when I see a cyclist without a helmet) … then i get into.. Running Bear when i’m at the river, to smashing young man and i get into 1979…to gypsy in my soul… and so much more… ( i don’t need an ipod or spotify, iRead More →

i’m not one of those people. I’d never sing in front of an audience. never say never. but if i had to sing in front of anyone… i’d have to have a few bottles of wine and some champagne and may be a little rum to sing. and at that time, i’m pretty sure i’d sound pretty terrific. truth! ;) i sing in the shower, though. well, when i’m in the mood and a song pops in my head, etc, etc. i’m more of an independent shower taker and singer.;) and i think that’s what should be called a ‘singin’ indie-shower: a musical‘. would thatRead More →

i’m sure they will go places…i mean, our girls. not just my girls, yours as well. this list may have been repeated here a while ago… but , you know, life is repetitive and so are our words. :) they’ll are and continue to : be brave and courageous stand up and be heard have a voice be silly and funny be humble, but not be pushovers stay beautiful and powerful but modest (is that even possible?!) be nurturing, creative take someone’s breath away have their breath taken be honest and show their true colors speak up for what’s right, speak their mind be effective in ourRead More →

the confessional. the door is  open. but i will charge you. i accept payment in valuable information, only. and i keep it in a jar. i won’t use it against you (or me!). but , you should know, i never forget. yes, i have a difficult time remembering trivial information. games, rules, song titles… but mostly i remember words i heard , i read, i like , i dislike, expressions on faces and on paper. so, i remember. it’s not pretty. it’s actually brutal. there are times i don’t want to remember. i don’t want to think of or remember the number of times you repeatedRead More →

Last Sunday… Dani and I went to the marina to participate in the annual Christmas  audubon bird count… we’re newbies… and well, it was a spontaneous thing. love the morning ….love birds and love people.. but remembering the names of birds …well, i’m not sure i can do that. i need a book. but , wow!! the morning was beautiful. the people… well, a little cooler than cool. :) and we did spot a heart or two. and the ancient murrelet, too. and that was a little exciting. jump up and down and high five exciting ! good things happen on sundays…but i’m Tuesday. ( Audubon Society just fyiRead More →