what are we missing… …and, why has it left? and what do you want? these are not words of love or hope. for clarity. it’s a question about the things that grow. and about the things that won’t grow. anymore. we forget the good things and focus on the tedious and monotonous things. we lean on doing the things that earn us money to go places… …and yet, we go nowhere because we’re too busy earning money to go places. :) we focus  on the things that end without an explanation. the things that cripple us and leave a small wound. the things that linger and leave you lost with undeterminedRead More →

driving at the speed limit, today. not that it matters. so many palm trees in the cemetery. the dead must feel like they’re in paradise. but not today. most days they’ll soak up the sun, and enjoy a cool breeze…or a balmy evening. but not today. today, they’ll enjoy a cold chill with heavy winds and rain. all day. they’ll enjoy some visitors chasing wind-blown umbrellas through the headstones and name plates across the field. but when the storm runs out of rain and wind…and things are more calm, it will all look like paradise again… but, a little tempest in the graveyard on aRead More →

Last Sunday… Dani and I went to the marina to participate in the annual Christmas  audubon bird count… we’re newbies… and well, it was a spontaneous thing. love the morning ….love birds and love people.. but remembering the names of birds …well, i’m not sure i can do that. i need a book. but , wow!! the morning was beautiful. the people… well, a little cooler than cool. :) and we did spot a heart or two. and the ancient murrelet, too. and that was a little exciting. jump up and down and high five exciting ! good things happen on sundays…but i’m Tuesday. ( Audubon Society just fyiRead More →

hello… and down below there is pure poesy. really :) the cell fone alarm goes off in the morning time excuse me while I think of a meaningful rhyme. I contemplate a run and go out for some playing but i think of you,  and decide to stay in. i stretch a little and get up slowly  out of my bed still in a haze but with you in my head in to the kitchen i clumsily stumble mmm , and when i see you a practically crumble off to some grinding, and the kitchen gets loud oh how your scent lifts me up on aRead More →

and … they had fun. the little girls did. I saw the play a couple times. one time i just watched. another time i sat their as a parent. I thought and looked in side my memory bank…and realised they have done so much. they will do so much, still. they will have many roles to play… act so much. i hope they grow up to be happy little girls. :) entrances and exits and entrances again… so much still to do and do over. again. LOVE! LOVE them.Read More →

i encouraged Alex to get up early. she hiked up Kill-Hill-2* mostly with her eyes closed. the sun was on our backs an behind some clouds. but, just as soon as it popped up completely, we felt the warmth and saw a ton of light! so, i asked her to turn around and see the sunrise. and, well,  i could not just take a mental picture…i had to take our selfie. gah! i love the sunrise. me and my alex…not our best selfie but we were sleepyheads!  ‘you’re so weird, mom!’ is all she said. she just doesn’t get it. it’s amazing – the sunrise!!! but sheRead More →

a sunday besties-blues… and reds and pinks… the good people around us make all the difference. so, hey, remember that. Friday… with Wendy and Deana and a glass of wine on the front porch. antidote for a long week of nonsense and work.     “are you strong enough to be my man…” Saturday…. with Dan and Wendy and their super nice bestie, Peter the guitarist… a cure for the saturday rush and with trying to keep up with the babies’ social life.  So… a little sheryl crow music event in the IE never hurt any body. merci, Peter for hooking us up :) “If it makesRead More →

welcome. don’t drag bad vibes, though. that long train won’t fit here. no need to knock. there’s a nice crowd on the other side. a little restless, but they are loving. drag the gate open it gets stuck a little. if you need help, sound the bells. sit down take your shoes off and stay a while. warm your hands on fire pit. fill yourself with warm spirits.Read More →

when all else fails … go into denial. claim insanity. lock your doors. roll your eyes. play dead. play deaf. scream. delete the data. all of it. now. or accidentally spill gasoline and accidentally light a match… change the rules. no hablo ingles. kick the first person you see. take a peaceful walk on the beach and enjoy the beautiful sunset … and get some sand and throw it at someone’s face. (be sure you throw enough of it to have them stay down for a while or be sure you can run fast on the sand) sunday’s conversation with alex. me: alex, look atRead More →

dani: mama?!! me: yes? dani: where are you? me: dans la toilette dani: stop pee’ing. i got a surprise for you! me: um, i can’t stop on demand, you know? but , i’ll be right out. jeeze, can’t a mom pee in peace?! dani: just hurry up! :) still fixing my pants… i walk out and find Dani pointing at her heart. she raked and swept the flowers to shape it. what goofy cutie-pie she is.Read More →

doodle bou, Boubou, dani-bee, chiquilina, bouboulina…muñequita turned nine. she calls herself my lucky charm! sigh.   she has such an attitude. when she was born she had a ‘stay away from me unless you’re my mom’ cry.  and it was loud. i really mean it. it was loud. she’s sweet as pie when she wants to be. not when she needs to. only when she wants to.  most of the time she is just a stubborn little girl full of ideas and a bit of attitude. she has a wispy  softish kind of voice and when she tells a story you just sort of getRead More →

so… my dad was diagnosed with cancer in july. on his birthday he had major surgery to remove the tennis-ball size mass that took over his abdominal area. prior to this —months prior to this , while he was still 61 years old, he was talking about early retirement or planning to retire in just 3 more years… he wasn’t sure what he was going to do…. i think my dad would have been lost if he retired. work was his life. sure his family was why he worked, but work was where he was in control. he worked most of his life if notRead More →